Pseudomemories: July 2015

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Personal Story: Alice

Alice sought help for an eating disorder. She went to a "Christian life coach" (acting as a counselor) who first arranged for Alice to be medicated. Alice was then given a questionnaire. Based on her answers Alice was told she was abused as a child. Alice then became dependent on the counseling, dependent on the medication and life got worse.

While on medication Alice was led to imagine some initial state as a child like "you are in your room and it is dark then the door opens...", Alice would then complete the story often entranced or in a "blackout" state. Using this method the counselor and Alice created horrid false memories of abuse by multiple members of her family. Alice confronted all her perpetrators with the "repressed memories" that were actually pseudo memories.

She also exposed her young daughter to the horrid memories. Years later the daughter became suicidal, her husband left her, the life coach could not be paid so the sessions ended, the insurance ran out and then the medication stopped.

Alice began to realize that the memories were less convincing and they began to fade. Six years after her initial accusations she went back to her family, apologized and worked to rebuild relationships. Alice was blessed that it only took six years because many are shamed and trapped by false memories over a lifetime. Reconciliation is reserved for those with humility, great courage and rare intellect. The intellect and character of the victim are often degraded over time by the cocktail of medications used to "treat" the patient. In addition many are unable to return to normalcy due to the long term damage and emotional trauma created by incompetent and/or fraudulent counseling, therapy, life coaching or prayer partnering. Alice is a very rare return to truth.

My name is Alice and I am a retractor. After six and a half years of therapy, I began to wake up to my true reality and come out of the fog I had been living under. I originally went to this person for depression. I first started seeing this therapist to lose weight. I was sure I’d be safe because she was a life coach counselor who was a Christian. That provided a false sense of security.

I was unhappy when I started therapy but in just a short time I was living in pure hell. I went from being a depressed person, but someone who could carry a 4.00 in college to having a diagnosis of Clinical Depression (CD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Disociative Indentity Disorder (DID) and being in a state where I could not take care of myself or anything else.
I was led to believe that I was physically, sexually, emotionally and ritually abused by both my parents, a grandfather, several other family members.
My marriage, which had been on shaky grounds, was destroyed after 23 years together. I put my family, my husband, children, parents and siblings through pure hell. I was totally dependent on my life coach therapist. If I questioned my memories, I was told I was in "denial."
I think the stress reached its peak when my then 16-year-old daughter started thinking of suicide and had to be hospitalized. She had been suffering from listening to my horrid tales since she was 10 years old. In February 1994, I began to doubt the memories and became more certain the memories were not true. I started to question my family in detail and read school and medical records. None of these things agreed with what I had been told had happened.
I sat down with my parents and siblings, nieces and nephews and my own children and told them that I did not believe in the things I had been thinking for the past few years. I asked each one of them separately to try to find it in their hearts to forgive me and I told them I would understand if they couldn’t, but I prayed that they would.
To my surprise they all hugged me and told me they loved me and welcomed me back. My father, who had never confronted me on any of these accusations, stood up, held out his arms and told me, "Well it is about time. I have missed my girl. I love you. Don’t ever forget that please." What joy I felt. I cried and said, "Daddy, I love you and always will. Please forgive me. I am so sorry." He told me to hush, that he did forgive me and that he had known that someday I’d wake up.
The next day, I went into town and told my now ex-husband what I had told my family. He said it was about time I woke up and he hoped I meant it. I never saw my therapist again.

Life has moved on. I stopped taking the medications I had been on for six and a half years. I had to file for bankruptcy and that was especially horrible because I had been able to deal with financial matters my whole life. I felt another part of my life had been shot. But now I am supporting myself, and my daughter. I am trying to deal with everyday life and trying to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.

A daughter

Comment: A trust that can be quickly established by having a doctor, counselor, therapist or friend claim to be "Christian". This trust can then help nurture false memories. Trust is further established by using questionnaires claimed to indicate childhood abuse but have no validation studies that indicate any such ability. Finally the misguided belief that eating or other disorders (such as depression) were caused by childhood sexual abuse has been endemic in programs that generate horrid fantasies of abuse thought to be memories.

Harvard Mental Health Letter (1996, April) Childhood sexual abuse and eating disorders. 7.

Pope, H.G. and Hudson, J.I. (1992) Is childhood sexual abuse a risk factor for bulimia nervosa? American Journal of Psychiatry, 149,(4), 455-463.

Pope, H.G. et al (1994) Childhood sexual abuse and bulimia nervosa: A comparison of American, Austrian, and Brazilian women. American Journal of Psychiatry, 151 (5) 732-737.

This case was obtained from:

http://www.fmsfonline.org/?qmemories=RetractorsOwnStories#feb95

NOTE: This retraction is a rare example of integrity and courage. Many live with the false memories their entire lives and rob their children of grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Losing contact at a time when the children most benefit from that contact.

WHY I BECAME INTERESTED IN THIS

Our adult child in postpartum depression and medicated with antidepressants sought help while living 2000 miles away. Someone "helped" her using "Repressed Memory Therapy" (or some variation) either through a therapist or friends using "do it yourself therapy books". She became one of hundreds of thousands victimized by a method well known to produce false or pseudo memories (American Psychological Association). Experts have established how false memories are maintained once nurtured and we hope that friends are helping free our daughter from the shackles of false memories. Unfortunately the accuser and the friends around her may nurture and reinforce false memories for a variety of reasons. Those medicated and entranced, as our daughter was, often have the most detailed and horrid fantasies mistaken for memories. It will take incredible emotional strength, a mind cleared of medication, fully functioning intellect, immense humility and great courage for our daughter to return. Many such victims never do but we remain steadfast in our hope. In spite of the bizarre and false accusations we love our daughter and her family. We will never give up on reconciliation.

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Personal Story: Roseanne

Rosanne Barr after treatment by her therapist in 1991, revealed to the public that she had "repressed memories" of her father's incest on her TV show. After publicly defaming her parents she then fired her sister (who refused to become a co-accuser). Rosanne publicly accused parents of horrid crimes based on fantasies generated by medication and fraudulent therapy or harmful prayer ministry.
Rosanne's false sensationalized public accusation fueled similar false accusations nationwide. Thousands of families and their victims were harmed using the same type of fraudulent treatment. Using her fame, power and wealth Rosanne defamed her parents and harmed her family based on generated fantasies thought to be "memories".

Ten years later Rosanne admitted the memories were not true. During a guest appearance on a national TV show called "Oprah" Rosanne stated "it was the worst mistake of my life....I lost touch with reality in a big way.....I was taking multiple medications and in a bad relationship...." She indicated that there was no incest and regretted the public accusations. There are many thousands of other similar retractions that came after families were destroyed, lives ruined, innocents jailed and many imprisoned (often for decades.)

The long discredited idea, once called "repressed memories", explains Roseanne Barr's experience. It also explains Grace's experience.

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My Sister Roseanne: The True Story of Roseanne Barr Arnold

by Geraldine Barr

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Truth is More shocking than lies...

ByJGCon September 6, 2009

I have always been enamored with Roseanne because her TV show was one of the only true depictions of a realistic American family. Like many of her fans, I followed her through all of her countless "revelations" and hairball claims during the '90s when she made up story after story for more fame, attention and money.

Geraldine rips the veil of secrecy off of all of Hollywood while she discusses things that have rarely made it into mainstream popular books up until now. She talks about money, contracts, the love of attention and the proverbial fame game years before any other top star had the courage or the will to talk about these things. Her writing is not only factual, but also inspiring and revealing.

"My Sister Roseanne" was published in 1994 when Roseanne was at her most powerful and most successful (at the time this book came out her show was number-1) and perhaps with all the clout that fame brings a woman who achieves a hit sitcom, Roseanne was able to collectively get this book blackballed. The same critics that panned this book as poultry and subversive were the same ones that praised Roseanne's book that came out 6 months prior to this; yet no one called Roseanne money-motivated or greedy, even though her second autobiography was published less than 5 years after her first.

This book is a truthful depiction of Geraldine's life and association with her sister, Roseanne.

Geraldine discusses in intimate detail how she was Roseanne's chief writer and business manager for over a decade only to be callously fired in a matter of seconds because Roseanne simply didn't want her in her life anymore. Geraldine also writes about how Roseanne became drunk and inebriated on her own fame and would say and do things for no other reason than to get attention and to stay in the spotlight.

I strongly believe that Mr. and Mrs. Barr (Geraldine's parents) got a really bad rap by their ungrateful and dishonest daughter, Roseanne. Geraldine writes about how Roseanne's false claims of incest nearly killed her parents (I honestly cannot imagine anything worse for a parent to go through). In detail she even takes the time to describe how her entire family was affected and afflicted by Roseanne's malicious and deceitful claims.

Perhaps what was least surprising was how Geraldine took the time to even go into specifics concerning her parents' innocence regarding these hateful claims. Yet, this is just one more thing that the media never talks about. It is sad that when someone gets famous their words are held up like concrete that causes the masses to believe anything that is said.

Since the book has been published Geraldine has been vindicated. Roseanne reconciled with her estranged family after 10 years of claiming the lie to be true but has since recanted all of the hateful and notorious statements that were made, such as being an incest survivor at the hands of her innocent parents. Yet there wasn't a big press conference to state this.

I have a lot of respect and admiration for Geraldine because she told the story that no one really wanted to hear. It's ironic in a way, isn't it? I mean she was really ahead of her time with this book. For its time period it was rather groundbreaking because it came out during a time period when many celebrities (everyone from La Toya Jackson to Patty Duke) were (falsely?) claiming to be victims of abuse. Yet if Geraldine had written the book now it likely would never have been published or seen the light of day. The story is very dated and only people who really want to search out the truth would probably pick it up. Nevertheless it's a fantastic book.

NOTE: Retraction is always an example of integrity and courage. Many live with the false memories their entire lives and rob their children of grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Losing contact at a time when the children most benefit from that contact.

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Personal Story: Ginny

Ginny was influenced by Rosanne Barr accusations on TV and went to a counselor who she thought could help her recover memories she "felt were there". She gained images under hypnosis, but was still not sure. She met a friend who was supportive of her "repressed memories" and began to develop a network of supporters. After 5 months she began to doubt her "repressed memories" and wrote letters of retraction to her friends. Her "friends" and "supporters" now refuse to see her but she has reconciled with family.

My name is Ginny.

I was first told about "Repressed Memories" being "False Memories" a little over a year ago by a friend who was concerned about what was happening to me. I firmly told her that no therapist had ever hypnotized me or placed any memories in my head, and that the False Memory Foundation was just a group of perpetrators who were trying to stop victims from breaking the silence. My opinions have changed drastically since then. Since November I have tried desperately to find answers to my false memories. Some of what I have learned about my own past, and false memories in general has surprised and greatly disturbed me.

For me it started when I returned to therapy after breaking up with a boyfriend. I had been terrified of him, or of being anywhere alone with him, but couldn’t explain why. I was too far into therapy when I found myself leaning towards sexual abuse. The feelings were so vivid, and real. I couldn’t deny what I was remembering. My therapist was excellent, and never pushed anything on me. Most of the time she helped me question it all, saying that there ARE other answers, but no matter how hard we looked, it kept coming back to incest. My memories of incest were just too believable.

I have analyzed these months of therapy over and over again since last fall. First of all, when I entered therapy I showed all the signs of being an incest victim, and I knew it. (I had read books about it.) I have since learned that sexual abuse is not strongly correlated with the symptoms that are associated with it. Also I, like many other people, held the theory that memory operated much like a videotape recorder, and that everything retrieved was accurate. These theories are now being challenged, and people are beginning to realize, as I am, that memories are not always correct. I have also learned that new information can be confused with old memories. I now know that what I thought was incest was based on another incident altogether.

I left therapy when I moved to a new town. I thought I was doing well and felt that I had dealt with most of the issues of abuse. I decided to seek a therapist in this new town just to make sure I would not have problems while in school. I denied that anything had ever happened to me but my psychiatrist suggested hypnosis to find out the truth.

I think this is where I made my mistake. Almost everything I read about pseudo memories discusses how hypnosis or relaxation is used with gentle but direct questions which may lead to false memories. As Roseanne Arnold (returned to Barr after divorce) said on the Oprah Winfrey show, "When someone asks you, ’Were you sexually abused as a child?’ there are really only two answers: One of them is ’Yes,’ and one of them is ’I don’t know.’ You can’t say ’No.’" This is how I remember feeling during my hypnosis. I remember being asked a number of times, "Is there anything else you remember?" and later, "What is your name?" These two questions led to beliefs that would destroy the next year and a half of my life. After being asked the first question enough times, I began describing a dark room with people dressed in black robes holding candles. The second question led to answers of names other than ’Clare’. On my last session I asked that these issues not be discussed again, and was assured they would not be brought up under hypnosis. They were, and I was so confused that I stopped therapy completely. Unfortunately, the seed had been sown.

Although I tried to forget the incident, I could not. Four months later, while at a friend’s cottage, I drew a picture of a young child in a circle of people dressed in black robes. The child looked terrified. A friend saw the drawing and told me she knew someone else who had been ritually abused. She told me her friend had Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) and before I knew what was happening I was telling her about my alters (the names that I had not forgotten from hypnosis).

Over the summer of 1993 I spent most of my time with this friend. She argued in my defense when people told her I was making it all up, and she told me I was in denial when I tried to tell her it wasn’t true. In mid-July, I left home, leaving only a note telling my parents I could not see them any more. I gave no explanation, and no forwarding address. I had fallen into the last stage of my transformation. I was a full fledged survivor now, and I believed it all.

I found a new therapist who dealt with MPD and ritual abuse. In October I spent two weeks in a Psychiatric Hospital because of memories to do with Halloween. I dropped to part-time at school and continued finding more and more horrific memories from my childhood. Just before exams I attempted suicide for the first time. The letter I left said that I was tired of being a burden on my roommates and that I couldn’t go on with it anymore. Looking back, I remember having a strange feeling that it was all a lie, but I was in too deep to tell anyone.

When I look back on it now, I think it was easier for me to be a survivor than someone who just went to school or work and lived a boring life. It was easier to dump all my upsets, confusions and mistakes on someone else. I got caught up in the memories and beliefs and didn’t know how to get out and in many ways didn’t want to get out.

In the spring of 1994, I began to become aware of what was happening to me. It was too late to save the year. I lost almost all my credits in school. I decided to switch programs. I tried to straighten out my life and I made contact with my family again. I went to summer school and got nineties in my courses. I never told anyone my memories had been false.

In September it became very difficult to keep the lie going. Through tears I finally admitted to one friend that I did not think any of the abuse was real. While in the hospital I wrote letters to friends telling them the truth and how sorry I was. Most friends stopped talking to me, either too hurt by what I had done, or just wanting me to hurt as much as they did. I was forced to move, find a place on my own and once again droped courses I was failing.

I am not the only one that has had these problems. The FMS newsletter published many letters of ’retractors’ and ’returners’ who are equally upset by what has happened to them.

It’s been five months since I admitted to friends that my memories were false. For the first time I read stories of people who believed their memories enough to hurt everyone around them, and now they are trying to recover from their mistakes. How many of us have to go through this hell before someone finds the answers?

When I first entered the field of psychology I wanted to study MPD. I wanted people to understand how real it is. Now I want to study FMS. I want to help find the balance between believing everyone and believing no one. People do not deserve to go through what I have gone through. It’s time to stop the False Memory Syndrome.

Editor’s Comment: The misguided belief that hypnosis or blackouts are the path to historically accurate memories of past abuse has been an undercurrent in the tide of recovered memories. Long ago this assertion was known to be inaccurate and is now known to be false in most instances..

Perry, C. (2000) Hypnosis, False Memory Syndrome Foundation, Memory And Reality website.

Perry, C. (1995) The False Memory Syndrome and "Disguised" hypnosis. Hypnos, XXII (4) 189-197.

This case was obtained from:

http://www.fmsfonline.org/?qmemories=RetractorsOwnStories#jan98

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