Sunday, February 2, 2020

Our Story, Suffering and Hope

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     Our adult child (Grace) was in postpartum depression and in need of help while living 2000 miles away in Walla Walla, Washington in June of 2015.    A long discredited therapy now rejected by expert therapists and known to create horrid false memories was used to “help”.  "Pseudo memories" nurtured by a therapist, life coach and/or friend(s) armed with a "Do it Yourself Therapy Book" harmed her and her family permanently.  While in depression and medicated she endured suggestive questioning, imaging techniques, trances and blackouts.  During this time suggestions of abuse were nurtured by a therapist, life coach or prayer partner.   Our understanding of this event is based on eyewitness written accounts (two people) in Walla Walla who were alarmed and maintained contact with us.  In addition screenshots of Grace's online public posts, private messages and emails from Grace at the time were saved and analyzed.
       Grace and her then common law husband Kevin both had been married previously but told us they wanted to have a wedding in the church and invited us to come. We traveled 2,463 miles by car towing a trailer to be there in time for the wedding and stay in a nearby campground.  The brief visit involved emotive displays of horrid behavior and accusations we had never dreamed of, heard about or witnessed before that trip.  Grace repeatedly referred to “repressed memories” and described horrid events that never happened.  A "friend" called “Juanita” was present and encouraged Grace’s animated false “recollections”.   Juanita was someone we had never met before, had no personal knowledge of anyone in our family and no one in our nuclear family had ever heard or talked to her prior.  We were shocked.
       Following that traumatic visit to Walla Walla we returned home. My husband informed his immediate supervisor, our pastor and offered to be fully investigated by his employer. He called the police to provide a statement (they declined). Following an interview by his employer’s representative copies of the bizarre Facebook posts by our daughter were used to document the accusations. We also spoke with a lawyer for over 3 hours who informed us that the use of "repressed memories" had long been discredited and in fact reliance on them was an indication of case weakness and a reason to have all charges dismissed.  We remained traumatized by the experience.
       We now have reason to believe that Grace may also have a metabolism we now know is common in our family.  Blood analysis reveals that five of seven tested in our nuclear family have a metabolism known to have adverse reactions to Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors (SSRI) antidepressants.  Several members of the extended family have taken these medications and gone into psychosis (with hallucinations and imaginings disconnected from reality) but with competent and informed care they were properly treated and recovered.  These same medications were posted online publicly by Grace as being prescribed and taken in 2015. We are now convinced that poor and outdated "recovered memory" combined with reaction to medication underlie her struggles with these psuedomemories and are leaving her mental illness untreated.
       Grace's husband Kevin had an ex-wife who read this blog (in 2015) and recognized that she had experienced implantation of false memories that led to her estrangement from her family while married to him previously.  She could see history repeating itself in these reports in our blog.   Family members of Kevin's ex-wife supplied written statements to us that described the false memories and estrangement which lasted while she remained married to Kevin.  We displayed restraint and encouraged others to do so as well.  We wanted for her to recover with a minimum of damage to her new family if possible.  We had hoped that true friends would eventually seek out the truth by talking to the family who had lived with her and could verify these stories were the result of poor therapy and medication and not factually true.  Unfortunately not a single member of the family has ever been questioned by those 2600 miles away and Grace is continues to tell and retell of horrid imaginings that never factually occurred.  Those around her have blindly, without seeking verification of those who lived with her in her home (she has a brother and five sisters) listened to and tacitly accepted these bizarre and horrid tales.
       Sadly in 2017 Grace and/or Kevin contacted a family member suffering a metabolic issue leading to the same mental illness we now think Grace has (but remains untreated).  Grace and/or Kevin nurtured false memories using techniques similar to what was done to Grace in 2015.  At one point Grace messaged this family member 160 times in a single day while this person was in psychosis disconnected from reality.  Luckily that family member was surrounded by those who knew her and her family (near her home town).   Police investigators were alerted, investigated and came to realize that these allegations were unsubstantiated.  My husband retired his professional position to support the family and research appropriate treatment.  That family member is now getting competent treatment and fully aware that she was used while she was ill and in psychosis. She realizes that those false memories were planted and nurtured by Grace and/or her husband.  Her recovery, unlike Graces, has resulted in improved relations with family and those around her.
       In 2019 Grace's step-daughter generated false accusations of abuse against a member of Kevin’s ex-wife's family.  It emerged out of an ongoing custody dispute in a family  court.  This made a minimum of four false accusations against different people interacting with Grace and/or Kevin.  It resulted in yet another investigation that once again found the accusations without sufficient evidence while also slandering the accused innocent person.  According to sources in Walla Walla familiar with the situation a family court ruled that trust was violated and both visitation and joint custody was terminated between Grace and Kevin with the children of his ex-wife.  The pattern of creating false memories and false accusations is now legally documented and has been repeated with four different accusations by different people. All accusations were confirmed as untrue after investigation.  Kevin's ex-wife, our daughter Grace, our family member now in recovery and Kevin’s minor daughter from a previous marriage have now been found to falsely accuse innocent people.  
       Those around Grace, thousands of miles away from where she grew up and without any contact with nuclear family members are ignorant that the truth is in conflict with her chosen psuedomemories.  It is also sad that "friends" around her and even a “professional writer” (who published a story describing her childhood as incredibly abusive) have never contacted a single nuclear family member to verify such horrific claims.  It is obvious that those in media slander for profit.  We also assume that no one has never checked for police records to verify the charges as they too do not exist.  We now realize that delusions can persist indefinitely when supported by such conditions and isolation.  Pseudo memories are resistant to change unless those still in contact gently point out facts and ask questions that make the accuser aware of discrepancies. We understand that the outlook for her recovery from this episode isolated and untreated is very poor.  Those cooperating with the effort to keep her cutoff from family assist in keeping her mental illness untreated.  Untreated mental illness can be profitable for therapists as it extends treatment indefinitely.
       We hope that someday her circle of acquaintances who do not know us will at least encourage her to get physically checked and competently cared for. We have and will always love, respect and cherish Grace. We also hope that one day Grace will be properly cared for.
       In spite of the bizarre and false memories we will never give up on reconciliation. We hope and pray for truth to prevail.  We are still allowed to hope!

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