A sister (Jennifer) communicated with Grace using an online "chat" this month. Jennifer candidly encouraged Grace to reject the horrid fantasies and retract the false stories and untrue allegations against her parents. Grace's horrid fantasies emerged while medicated and using dated therapeutic techniques through counseling, untrained friends using do it yourself therapy books or through a money focused ministry that relies on generating false memories (mythical memories). These methods, now known to be fraudulent and harmful, were experienced while living in Walla Walla, Washington in June of 2015.
Jenny writes an email:
"I have decided in light of Grace continuing to "believe" these lies in her head that strict adherence to the truth is necessary......Crazy people do not mix well with me. Got to go....."
Her Dad wrote back:
Jenny,
I want to thank you so much for your ardent declaration of truth and your desire to protect your parents from the horrid defamation perpetrated by your sister Grace. Your immediate response to the accusations were extremely helpful initially. I was totally unaware of how much damage these horrid fantasies and false accusations could have on your mother and I, our family, our grandchildren, my career and even our freedom. After extensive study it is clear to me NOW that your immediate, ardent and persistent defense was and has been a HUGE help. Thank you! I will be forever indebted to you for your vigorous defense in our darkest hours.
In fact the support of all my family and children who refused to be caught up in the tragic false accusations has been an immense comfort. Words can not describe how grateful I am for your maintaining the truth, offering your love and your support (as well as the rest of the family) while we (your mother and I) were under such horrid attack by these false accusations.
In fact the support of all my family and children who refused to be caught up in the tragic false accusations has been an immense comfort. Words can not describe how grateful I am for your maintaining the truth, offering your love and your support (as well as the rest of the family) while we (your mother and I) were under such horrid attack by these false accusations.
Kevin and Grace have their reasons for adhering to the slanderous and false narrative about their parents and family. Sympathy can be used to for profit. The reality is that Grace (and Kevin) must personally come to realize the short term profit is countered by the long term harm being done to their children and to themselves (as they strengthen the false memories with an isolation that has been proven to harm). In the lingo of the "recovered memory" believers we have been "cut off". This technique is used because it helps to both preserve the false memories and to propagate false narratives. This approach is nothing new and has been written about repeatedly for decades.
To work at exposing the many deceptions which are being propagated by the Reynolds would consume your energy and would likely not result in any reconciliation. While you can easily clarify that there is a pattern of intentional deception I think that clarification is not presently needed. Everyone who truly knows your mother, myself and our family are fully aware that the claims are false. If ever people in the Walla Walla area were to seek the facts through personal inquiry they would quickly find the truth by merely talking or exchanging with Grace's siblings the close friends who lived in our home and spent extensive time there and truly know us. The nuclear family, who were raised in the same home and those who lived with us and truly know us, are more than willing to share the facts. All of us are sad that Grace and Kevin think defaming family and clinging to false memories and false narratives are helpful. They, in fact, defame themselves by clinging to these horrid fantasies.
What is the best course now? There are many things at work in this situation and I have read many dozens of books, hundreds of accounts and communicated with many who have gone through the same events. We are not alone. We can learn from those who went on before us and endured much worse (loss of family life, loss of career and even prison) despite accusations based on fantasies like Grace's.
Evil would delight in your being distracted from serving your family. So now I plead with you. If you really want to help bring truth and goodness and justice to this situation then please focus on serving your family and children. Provide for your children opportunities for them to have healthy and loving interactions with you, your parents, aunts and uncles and others with a vibrant and genuine faith. Provide happy events in your children's lives that will be remembered long into the future. Make sure your children and yourselves get your needed rest and that you manage your lives. Do activities in a way the foster health and joy and faith.
Our hope as parents of Grace, are that our many visits to the beach, family camp outs, celebration of the sacraments, Saturday night games, trips to the rockies, grand canyon hikes and journey to places like Sea world will remain with Grace to compete with these horrid false memories. The real memories along with family and friends who gently "question" her false memories may help her to overcome the culturally planted and wrongly nurtured false memories she is a victim of at present. We will always hope!
Our hope as parents of Grace, are that our many visits to the beach, family camp outs, celebration of the sacraments, Saturday night games, trips to the rockies, grand canyon hikes and journey to places like Sea world will remain with Grace to compete with these horrid false memories. The real memories along with family and friends who gently "question" her false memories may help her to overcome the culturally planted and wrongly nurtured false memories she is a victim of at present. We will always hope!
Join us for another tailgate! The weather will be perfect! Get there early so there is time to play bean bag toss, visit and talk with the grand children and you. Bekah will be sabre tossing as well as flag waving at half time and she is part of a great show. Cousins may be there!
Your mother and I love you and adore your family as well!
Thank you for your love and support!
Daddy
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Grace is climbing Camel Back
with sandals but still happy.
with sandals but still happy.
This blog is, presently, a form of communication. When direct and free communication is implemented then this blog, as well as other indirect means of communication, would no longer be needed. It will then be purged of references to this personal tragedy (though we could write a book jointly). There are others who have expressed appreciation for the information and insights provided. So much of the public information will remain online to assist others who have suffered from similar experiences.
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All pictures of Grace on this blog are prior
to the creation of pseudo memories in 2015
with help from someone in the Walla Walla Area.
Our daughter, Grace, underwent techniques that produce fantasies or pseudo memories in May of 2015 while living in Walla Walla, Washington. The techniques, observed by eyewitnesses, were once mistakenly thought to be "memory recovery techniques" but are now known to create fantasies or "pseudo memories". Shortly after giving birth to a new child, isolated from family, enduring a reaction to medication for depression and subjected to suggestive sessions Grace developed the expected horrid fantasies. She then "cut off" any one who maintained that the fantasies were not factual. Those "cutoff" included all five of her siblings, her parents and all family or close friends who chose to share only the truth about life prior to June 2015. Many victims of this technique never regain full communication with family after an episode like the one our daughter Grace endured.
A fun visit
in Pittsburgh!
in Pittsburgh!
Journalist Rebecca Meiser, states "...memories, by nature, are fluid and malleable, easily influenced by suggestion. People told they were abused eventually believe that they were, regardless of fact. The mind creates a visual picture of the abusive act. And if a person is surrounded by others who encourage her to draw out these pictures and details, this new memory can become even more vivid than an actual remembrance. To complicate things further, the brain starts creating emotional responses to these memories, which seem to validate the claims even more."
Grace loved presents as a child
like all of our children!
Surprisingly Grace and Kevin asked by email to stop sending "junk" by mail. We assume they refer to the Christmas and birthday gifts that we continue to send to the grand children. It seems, to us, like such a sad thing to expect. Despite the threats and warnings we continue to send the gifts. We were never were sure, and remain uncertain, if the children were and are getting the presents sent. There has never been any confirmation or acknowledgement that the gifts were actually given to the children. We do know that they have received the gifts at there home from postal delivery records. We continue to send them anyway.
Fun in the Rockies with
Grace brother and cousin!
Renowned experts in psychology and law have warned repeatedly about the fallacy of "repressed memories". These are actually known to be false memories. The idea that "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"(PTSD) is evidenced by "repressed memory" connects a cultural myth with the opposite problem of memory persistence. Those truly suffering from "PTSD" wish that they could "repress" or "forget" the event that traumatized them but they can not. All the evidence is that the greater the trauma the stronger the memory is thought of from it's beginning! It is not buried.
Genuine friendship
and a great family.
Those claiming "repressed memories", generated during "flashbacks" in an entranced or medicated state, are actually creating vivid and typically horrid false memories. Then the victims of this type of "memory recovery technique" react to the created pseudo memories, as our daughter did, by accusing and withdrawing called "cutting off". "Memory recovery" is actually a misnomer used prior to the 1990's because memory was once thought to be like a "recording device". It is now known that human memory is malleable, often influenced by suggestion and bias, frequently inaccurate, easily confused, often confabulated with other recollections, fantasies and/or hallucinations.
School friends act goofy.
Physiological researchers have learned from scans of the brain during tasks involving memory and tasks that require "imagining" that they both occur in the same location. Remembered events are now known to be "reconstructed", often incorrectly, rather than "recalled".
Lush mountain creek and our Grace.
After public confrontations and false accusations in June of 2015, based on pseudo memories, all friends and family that shared doubts or maintained historical truth that the horrid abuse described never happened were quickly "cutoff". This pattern matches exactly the pattern of those in the grips of false memories. Pray for her freedom from this sad and tragic event.School Photo.
Given her vulnerability and experience we do not think Grace is "lying" or being "deceptive". She was subjected, without being fully informed, to memory recovery techniques known to create pseudo-memories (fantasized events that are mistaken for historical events). These false memories seem real to her largely due to her amazing intelligence. Pseudo-memories are genuinely mistaken for truthful memories through such things as "flashbacks". These are recollections in an entranced or medicated state, reactions to medication producing hallucinations, or by therapists using recovered memory techniques, or by friends using do it yourself therapy books or through prayer partners using something similar to Theophostic Prayer techniques. All of these techniques and programs are known to generate pseudo-memories that seem real to the victim. Grace helped
care for a baby sister who
thought she could fly.
Those with "pseudo memories" often never reconcile with their family after making the typically horrid false accusations that seem like real memories to them. Often innocent people experience the loss of careers and even prison due to such false accusations. While our situation is very sad it is more tolerable than so many others tragically harmed by this type of approach to healing.All pictures of Grace on this blog are prior
to the creation of pseudo memories in 2015.
Recently (June and July) there has been more communication between Grace and numerous nuclear and extended family members. So we are very happy to have her making some contact with a number of family members, including 2 sisters, through email and phone conversation. We remain hopeful. Pseudo memories also called "repressed memories"were generated using techniques she described in public posts. They may never be entirely eliminated. The human mind is vulnerable when medicated, exhausted and in the throws of postpartum hormonal changes as our daughter was. She continues to be medicated. Her sisters, her brother, her father and I continue to hope and pray that she free herself from the bondage of these tragic pseudo memories.
Her uncle spends time
with Grace.
My husband and I are convinced that truth is the only way out of this. We were initially advised to sue for defamation, but did not, to give Grace time to cease her public accusations. Those public false accusations stopped. This was also a hopeful sign at the time. Genuine love requires that all coercion and threats cease. We are praying for a genuine change of heart and for her to cease the attempts to recruit co-accusers, to discontinue dwelling on her false memories and to turn away from "digging up more memories" which actually means nurturing more false memories. Such change is always difficult especially while medicated, compromised by pseudo memories and having those who truly know you"cutoff" when sharing truth.
Grace and brother share
awards at science fair.
We continue to get reports from people who truly love her and her family in Walla Walla.
The hopeful road she may have started will be likely much longer than we would like. Truth may foster healing but there are times when it is uncomfortable. Pray for all of us to have the patience and wisdom needed.
Grace will always be one phone call away from getting help.
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Sisters enjoying the view after a climb.
In spite of the bizarre and false accusations we love our daughter and her family. Following our very brief visit in 2015 our daughter has "cut off" siblings, both parents and genuine friends who choose to challenge her pseudo memories. She has threatened legal action if we attempt contact. A father still hopes. A mother still pleads. Her sister still remembers. We will never give up on reconciliation and pray daily for the miracle of a phone call from her. She is always a phone call away from getting help.
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Cousins
Grace and I while visiting family in New England
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