My husband, Tim, of 38 years at the time of the accusation, and our youngest daughter (14 years of age) and I traveled 2,000 miles over the previous week (by car) to visit our adult daughter Grace and her family after she sent us an invitation to come and visit. The previous summer she had provided a wonderful thank you note for the time we had spent with her and her family so we were looking forward to a pleasant 3 week visit to help care for her children and get ready for her church wedding.
The night prior to our arrival in Walla Walla, Washington we received a phone call from Grace's sibling at home in Alabama, warning us of "horrid and unfounded accusations" being posted publicly on "Facebook" Camping out west meant we had no access to the internet. My husband was exhausted after hiking 4 days in the wilderness and not fully cognizant of what was happening that evening.
When we arrived in Walla Walla my daughter and husband set up a trailer at a local RV park. I went to Grace's home to inquire about the phone calls we had received from her brother and sisters. There were people whom I had never met with her at her home. Grace then proceeded to make horrid and false accusations of unspeakable crimes by myself and my husband. I was shocked, saddened and fearful especially for our 14 year old daughter who was with us in Walla Walla at the time.
One of the strangers at the house, Juanita Anspach, claimed to be a friend "helping" Grace. No one in Grace's immediate family had ever met her or heard of her. Juanita had never contacted, never verified or even inquired with family or any of her childhood friends about the viability of the memories. These memories were possibly created by a reaction to postpartum medication or suggestive recovery sessions. If Juanita had sought the truth she would have known that the memories were bizarre fantasies that never happened. Instead this "friend" empowered our daughter to cut off family and publicly defame them with horrid falsehoods.
During my visit Juanita repeatedly mentioned "repressed memories" and how Grace was getting "therapy" and that I needed "therapy" to recover my "repressed memories". Experts now realize that "repressed memories" are a myth that have harmed tens of thousands of families. We also know that Juanita had a recent history of personal tragedy Her husband, father and sister all passed away unexpectedly and she used "Go Fund Me" to raise money to help her with burial expenses. Now a new tragedy existed with her assistance to a "friend".
Meanwhile Bekah and Tim prepared our camper trailer for an extended stay at a nearby RV park. While at the park Tim looked up on the internet how such accusations are handled in the state of Washington. He was shocked to find out that these so called "repressed memories" over 20 years later, with no corroboration, no witnesses and no physical evidence results in arrest and conviction of innocent people. The state of Washington has bizarre laws based on past cases that are now known to be frauds, using long debunked "repressed memories". My husband and I were vulnerable, in that state, to unfounded, unsubstantiated and fantasized charges of horrid crimes that never occurred.
We were devastated but after the shocking visit and research we realized the need to protect our daughter and ourselves and left immediately. Phone conversations, mailed and emailed exchanges with local law enforcement since then have confirmed the wisdom of the decision. Good law enforcement professionals are aware that these laws are a sham. Federal courts have concluded the same. The local law enforcement assures us they will keep watch over the family.
Our daughter followed a pattern common to those who have experienced "recovered memory therapy". She had contacted (via facebook chats) all her adult siblings and persuasively tried to recruit them as "corroborating accusers" (those attempts failed). Then she called cousins (by phone) in another state and attempted to get corroborating details from actual abuse in my sisters family by her (now) deceased former husband. That effort also failed. Her brother, sisters and cousins were upset that she would make, what they knew to be, totally spurious accusations.
Finally my daughter flew in my sister-in-law and told her initially it was to help with her upcoming church wedding. My sister-in-law personally witnessed a "recovery session" while there. My sister-in-law shared with my daughter that she had heard that these types of memories were "tricky" and advised that she get competent counseling. Since that time we have learned the imaging and suggestions used in that sessions precisely matches what is done in the now fully debunked "recovered memory therapy" They are described in dozens of books and articles.
My sister-in-law was left in the hotel and abandoned after refusing to become a "corroborating accuser". She was without resources, isolated and unable to contact us as we were on the road traveling away from Washington. I found out later that other family members learned of her situation and paid for her flight back to her home in Tennessee.
Those who genuinely knew my husband and I also knew the accusations were fabricated and totally false. This blogs purpose is to inform those who do not know us personally that the accusations were and remain totally untrue. Our moral sense would never allow us to do the horrid actions described. Unfortunately that does not mean we were spared the humiliation, vocational challenges, threat to career or legal threats by these spurious accusations. Our daughter (Grace) and her husband (Kevin) have indicated any direct contact would result in restraining orders and legal action.
Thank you to all our friends and family who stood with us and challenged these false memories. Studies show that every challenge is helpful and that accusers with false memories seek out those who will reinforce the false memories rather than challenge them. This is to help maintain a support system that perpetuates and propagates the false memories. Pray for truth and humility. That is the only thing that will help them reconcile this horrid event.
We HOPE that one day she will find the truth. Until then we can only pray.
The night prior to our arrival in Walla Walla, Washington we received a phone call from Grace's sibling at home in Alabama, warning us of "horrid and unfounded accusations" being posted publicly on "Facebook" Camping out west meant we had no access to the internet. My husband was exhausted after hiking 4 days in the wilderness and not fully cognizant of what was happening that evening.
When we arrived in Walla Walla my daughter and husband set up a trailer at a local RV park. I went to Grace's home to inquire about the phone calls we had received from her brother and sisters. There were people whom I had never met with her at her home. Grace then proceeded to make horrid and false accusations of unspeakable crimes by myself and my husband. I was shocked, saddened and fearful especially for our 14 year old daughter who was with us in Walla Walla at the time.
One of the strangers at the house, Juanita Anspach, claimed to be a friend "helping" Grace. No one in Grace's immediate family had ever met her or heard of her. Juanita had never contacted, never verified or even inquired with family or any of her childhood friends about the viability of the memories. These memories were possibly created by a reaction to postpartum medication or suggestive recovery sessions. If Juanita had sought the truth she would have known that the memories were bizarre fantasies that never happened. Instead this "friend" empowered our daughter to cut off family and publicly defame them with horrid falsehoods.
During my visit Juanita repeatedly mentioned "repressed memories" and how Grace was getting "therapy" and that I needed "therapy" to recover my "repressed memories". Experts now realize that "repressed memories" are a myth that have harmed tens of thousands of families. We also know that Juanita had a recent history of personal tragedy Her husband, father and sister all passed away unexpectedly and she used "Go Fund Me" to raise money to help her with burial expenses. Now a new tragedy existed with her assistance to a "friend".
Meanwhile Bekah and Tim prepared our camper trailer for an extended stay at a nearby RV park. While at the park Tim looked up on the internet how such accusations are handled in the state of Washington. He was shocked to find out that these so called "repressed memories" over 20 years later, with no corroboration, no witnesses and no physical evidence results in arrest and conviction of innocent people. The state of Washington has bizarre laws based on past cases that are now known to be frauds, using long debunked "repressed memories". My husband and I were vulnerable, in that state, to unfounded, unsubstantiated and fantasized charges of horrid crimes that never occurred.
We were devastated but after the shocking visit and research we realized the need to protect our daughter and ourselves and left immediately. Phone conversations, mailed and emailed exchanges with local law enforcement since then have confirmed the wisdom of the decision. Good law enforcement professionals are aware that these laws are a sham. Federal courts have concluded the same. The local law enforcement assures us they will keep watch over the family.
Our daughter followed a pattern common to those who have experienced "recovered memory therapy". She had contacted (via facebook chats) all her adult siblings and persuasively tried to recruit them as "corroborating accusers" (those attempts failed). Then she called cousins (by phone) in another state and attempted to get corroborating details from actual abuse in my sisters family by her (now) deceased former husband. That effort also failed. Her brother, sisters and cousins were upset that she would make, what they knew to be, totally spurious accusations.
Finally my daughter flew in my sister-in-law and told her initially it was to help with her upcoming church wedding. My sister-in-law personally witnessed a "recovery session" while there. My sister-in-law shared with my daughter that she had heard that these types of memories were "tricky" and advised that she get competent counseling. Since that time we have learned the imaging and suggestions used in that sessions precisely matches what is done in the now fully debunked "recovered memory therapy" They are described in dozens of books and articles.
My sister-in-law was left in the hotel and abandoned after refusing to become a "corroborating accuser". She was without resources, isolated and unable to contact us as we were on the road traveling away from Washington. I found out later that other family members learned of her situation and paid for her flight back to her home in Tennessee.
Those who genuinely knew my husband and I also knew the accusations were fabricated and totally false. This blogs purpose is to inform those who do not know us personally that the accusations were and remain totally untrue. Our moral sense would never allow us to do the horrid actions described. Unfortunately that does not mean we were spared the humiliation, vocational challenges, threat to career or legal threats by these spurious accusations. Our daughter (Grace) and her husband (Kevin) have indicated any direct contact would result in restraining orders and legal action.
Thank you to all our friends and family who stood with us and challenged these false memories. Studies show that every challenge is helpful and that accusers with false memories seek out those who will reinforce the false memories rather than challenge them. This is to help maintain a support system that perpetuates and propagates the false memories. Pray for truth and humility. That is the only thing that will help them reconcile this horrid event.
We HOPE that one day she will find the truth. Until then we can only pray.
Smiling at church with her family while we were visiting in 2014.
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ALL Pictures are of life before false memories were recovered in 2015.
Happy with our hike overlooking Phoenix
Grace and I while visiting family in New England
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